I recently saw this sentence in a book: “When we can’t change our situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” All of us have things we wish we could change: circumstances, relationships, and past hurts. But the uncomfortable truth is that there are things in life that may never change, no matter how much we wish they would. Whatever it is in your life, here are three ways to deal with things we can never change.
Adjust your course of action.
I love the old saying, “ ▲ ” When I find myself in a situation that I wish was different, I won’t ask “Why?” Instead, I’ll ask, “What?” or “How?” What can I learn from this? Or how can I adjust my way to better deal with this situation or person? Or how can I adjust the course in my attitude or approach to better deal with this situation or person?
Change yourself.
Pain and disappointment make you different. But they can change you for better or for worse. I’ve seen people who seemingly have the smoothest lives yet still find reasons to complain and be unhappy. But I’ve seen others whose lives have dealt them very hard hands, who still smile and choose joy. Dealing with disappointment and pain is all about a way of thinking about things. When you can’t change your situation, choose to change yourself. This might mean learning to love that person unconditionally or allowing past or painful lessons to shape future decisions. Change is hard, but not changing is sometimes much harder.
Stay positive.
Be a positive person. Make the world a better place by learning from others’ mistakes so you don’t repeat them. And if there’s something negative in your own family’s past or present, be the one to change it in your family’s future.
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