Research suggests that one in two adults still fight with their brothers and sisters, and 43 per cent believe the tension with their siblings increases every year. We talk to a psychologist about the reason for this, and how to fix it.
The reasons:
The psychologist Kaur says sibling rivalry (竞争) goes right back to your childhood. “It comes down to competition for parental attention,” Kaur explains. “This can be worsened if siblings feel threatened by or jealous (妒忌的) of each other’s relationships with their parents, especially if they perceive favouritism or unequal treatment.” In other words, if you competed with your siblings for attention or resources as a child, you’ll probably encounter these same tensions as an adult.
But there are other factors at play too, like differing worldviews and having little in common with your siblings. These differences often allow rivalry to fester, perhaps because there’s an expectation that you and your siblings should be more alike.
The ways:
Kaur says the first—and most important—step is thinking about why you want to resolve these long-standing issues. When you get a chance to chat, you should start the conversation in an open, and honest way. She suggests thinking about the topics you want to discuss beforehand. If you and your sibling decide that you want to work on things, Kaur says it’s important to remember there is no right or wrong.
You might want your sibling to take responsibility for their actions or apologize for the pain they’ve caused you in the past, but Kaur says this takes time, and may not happen at all. Lowering your expectations for the relationship and being able to listen to each other’s perspectives is crucial.
And if it all feels like a little too much to cope with on your own? Consider seeking the support of a therapist (治疗专家) who, together or separately, can help you understand why you feel and act the way you do.
本时文内容由奇速英语国际教育研究院原创编写，未经书面授权，禁止复制和任何商业用途，版权所有，侵权必究！（作者投稿及时文阅读定制请联系微信：18980471698）
13980503458
13980503458
admin@qisuen.cn
