① Our society places a high value on physical beauty. Americans spend an average of over $722 each year on their appearance. One in ten Americans has tried to look like a star.
② There’s nothing wrong with trying to look our best, but excessive focus on physical appearance misses the soulful aspects of what it means to be beautiful. Trying to look like the magazine pictures can take us on a long ride away from what beauty is really about.③ Many of us spend far too much time, energy, and money trying to polish an image of what we think will bring attention, love, and connection. In the process, we may fail to attend to ourselves in a way that would move us toward deeper intimacy, fulfillment, and meaning.
④ It may sound trite (老生常谈的), but beauty is only skin deep; it’s not what brings love toward us. Just read about the latest Hollywood starlets whose seeming love turns into resentment and bitter court battles.
⑤ Outer beauty can be as much of a curse as a blessing. We may develop a habit of being so focused on maintaining a perfect appearance that we never cultivate the inner qualities necessary to sustain and deepen intimacy and connection. As I describe in my book, The Authentic Heart, it is the courage to be authentic that connects us in a deeper way.
⑥ While our initial attraction may be based, in part, on physical chemistry, it is the meeting of our inner worlds that creates the lasting intimacy and spiritual connection for which we long. If we redirect our attention toward cultivating inner qualities, we might find a magnetic attraction that moves us from something superficial to something that connects us to our depths.
⑦ The path toward cultivating inner beauty is really simple. But what is simple is not always easy. Not everyone will see us and appreciate us as we take the courageous risk to allow ourselves to be seen as we really are. But if they don’t, it is their loss, not ours. Eventually we’ll find those compatible souls who appreciate us as we are.
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