Most people have an inner (内心的) voice. What you say to yourself, and how you say it, makes a difference to how you think, feel and behave, so it’s worth paying attention to it.
Your inner voice is always with you. You might notice it when you make a mistake, when you try something new, or when you solve a problem. Sometimes it sounds kind but at other times it can sound mean or scared. Young people’s coach Maria Evans says it should be treated with kindness. “It gets scared when you think about doing something that feels hard. Often all it needs is to be listened to and spoken to with love and reassurance.”
Your inner voice has an influence on you because you already pay attention to it. So what you say to yourself, and what you hear, sinks in. If you keep telling yourself you can’t do math or you’ re not good at making friends or you’ re not creative, over time you’ll believe what your inner voice is saying. When you talk to yourself like “I’ve got to tidy my room,” it makes the task feel harder. If instead you say, “I choose to tidy my room, and then I’ll be able to find the books I want easily,” it’s more positive (积极的). You’re telling yourself how you’ll get an advantage.
Noticing what your inner voice says and choosing to talk encouragingly to yourself can help you feel more confident. For example, when you get things wrong, tell yourself it’s okay and you’ll learn for next time. Or when you do something challenging, congratulate yourself for being brave and having a try. If you’re not sure what to say, imagine you’re talking to your best friends and trying to support and help them inside your head.
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