③ Unfortunately, sense often isn’t driving our behavior. For social beings who desire love and belonging, wanting to be liked, and caring about the effect we have on others, is healthy and allows us to make connections. However, where we get into trouble is when our self-worth is dependent upon whether we win someone’s approval or not.

④ This need to be liked can be traced back to when we were children and were completely dependent on others to take care of us: Small children are not just learning how to walk and communicate, they are also trying to learn how the world works. We learn about who we are and what is expected of us based on interactions with others, so, to a four-year-old, if Mommy or Daddy doesn’t like him or her, there is the danger that they will abandon them. We need to understand that when we desperately want someone to approve of us, it’s being driven by that little kid part of us that is still terrified of abandonment.

⑤ As you become more capable of providing yourself with the approval you seek, your need for external validation will start to vanish, leaving you stronger, more confident, and yes, happier in your life. Imagine how much time we lose each moment we restrain our authentic selves in an effort to be liked.

⑥ If we base our worth on the opinions of others, we cheat ourselves of the power to shape our experiences and embrace life not only for others but also for ourselves, because ultimately, there is no difference. So embrace the cliché (老话) and love yourself as it’s highly doubtful that you’ll regret it.

1. 1. What can we conclude from Lao Zi’s quotation?（细节理解）

A    We should see through other people’s attempt to make a prisoner of us.

B    We can never really please other people even if we try as hard as we can.

C    We can never be truly free if taking to heart others’ opinion of us.

D    We should care about other people’s view as much as they care about our own.

2. 2. What will happen if we base our self-worth on other people’s approval?（细节理解）

A    Our desire to be loved will be fulfilled.

B    Our life will be unfruitful and exhausting.

C    Our identity as social beings will be affected.

D    Our sense of self will be sharpened and enhanced.

3. 3. What may account for our need to be liked or approved of?（细节理解）

A    Our desperate longing for interactions with others.

B    Our understanding of the workings ofthe world.

C    Our knowledge about the pain of abandonment.

D    Our early childhood fear of being deserted.

4. 4. What can we do when we become better able to provide ourselves with the desired approval?（细节理解）

A    Enjoy a happier life.

B    Exercise self-restraint.

C    Receive more external validation.

D    Strengthen our power of imagination.

5. 5. What does the author advise us to do in the last paragraph?（细节理解）

A    Embrace life for ourselves and for others.

B    Base our worth on others’ opinions.

C    See our experiences as assets.

D    Love ourselves as we are.